


Insomne

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rafael was pouting as he walked back over to the couch.  He would probably never admit it but was not above pouting to get his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insomne

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a Spanish translation for sleepless, at least it is according to two different translation sites. There is no direct translation but it means sleepless person.

Rafael walked down the long hallway and into the living room. He was surprised to see Trevor asleep on the couch; so much for never going to bed angry. A bit of anger swelled in him and it made Rafael stop walking. _You're being fuckin ridiculous_ , he told himself as he looked at his sleeping fiancée. _You're being ridiculous and need to stop._

 _The poor man is probably exhausted and your behavior hasn’t helped things one bit. His sleeping is not some slight against you_. Taking a deep breath, Rafael walked further into the room. He stood close to Trevor, but not over him, for a few minutes. He was surprised he didn’t wake up. 

This didn’t bode well for someone coming in to kill them. Trevor might go down without a fight. Rafael shook the dark, and slightly ridiculous, thought from his mind. Sitting down on the edge of the couch, he just looked at him. Sound asleep in his gray flannel pajama pants with the black Calvin Klein underwear peeking out. 

His chest was bare and so were his big feet. His right hand rested comfortably on his belly as it rose and fell with his breathing. Rafael wanted to toy with the nipple bars Trevor got for his birthday, something spontaneous since he hadn’t done something spontaneous in too long. They weren't 100% healed yet; he waited for that day with bated breath. He put his hand over Trevor’s and sighed.

“Cuchura? Cuchura, wake up.”

“Hmm?” Trevor hardly moved a muscle.

“Wake up.”

“What's the matter?” Trevor opened his eyes. He sat up just a bit but struggled to get his bearings. “Rafi, what’s wrong?”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” Rafael replied. “We promised never to go to bed angry. I was tossing and turning, I came out here and you're sleeping.”

“I had a long week.” Trevor’s tone was defensive. “I'm exhausted, Rafael.”

“I don’t want to start another fight.” He held up his hands.

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize. I want…you know what,” he stood up from the couch. “I'm just gonna go to bed.”

“OK.” Trevor closed his eyes again.

Rafael went to walk away and then stopped. He turned in the middle of the carpet and just stood there.

“We said we’d never go to bed angry again. We said we would talk and communication is key. This is exactly what happened before. This is what happened when we broke up the last time.”

“I'm not going to do this, Rafael.” Trevor sat up on the couch and ran his hands over his face. He really was exhausted, had no idea what time it was. He had work in the morning; he knew that much for sure. Trevor also knew he didn’t have the strength for this. “I tried and you pushed me away.”

“So you're going to give up on me?” Rafael couldn’t help how his voice cracked. It suddenly felt like he was shoved and falling through space.

“What? No. That’s not what I said. I just want to sleep. Yes, communication is key, absolutely 110%. But I have had the most exhausting week and apparently yours wasn’t so great either. We just need to sleep it off. We can talk in the morning, I promise.”

“You said once that you couldn’t sleep without me.”

“I meant that.” Trevor nodded.

“Well I don’t want to sleep without you tonight. I've been doing that for three days, and it’s figurative more than anything but I still have been. I wanted to talk, I think, but I just…I was in a rough place.”

“You go there sometimes.”

“And I go alone.” Rafael said. “Sometimes my mood is just dark and no matter what I do I can't fix it. And then the clouds lift.”

“I get it. Sometimes I coddle too much and want to fix everything for you. That’s my flaw,” Trevor put his hand on his chest. “Something I need to work on.”

“I still had no right to snap at you.”

“Couples fight, Rafi. I hope you weren't thinking that this would be sunshine and rainbows just because we reconciled. We’re still two human beings with two moods and personalities. Sometimes I think we have 5 moods. Never having a disagreement isn't realistic, babe.”

“I was thinking that.” Rafael nodded. “The not fighting thing, not the realistic thing.”

“Of course you were.” Trevor smirked. “C'mere, let's have a goodnight kiss.”

Rafael was pouting as he walked back over to the couch. He would probably never admit it but was not above pouting to get his way. Trevor didn’t seem to be buying it as he kissed his mouth softly and said goodnight.

“I love you.” Rafael whispered. “And I am sorry.”

“I know, and I love you too. Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”

“Goodnight.”

He was reluctant but Rafael started walking away. Trevor lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. It wasn’t easy. He wanted to climb in bed with Rafael; love him, cuddle him, and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. But Trevor really was exhausted. 

His week had been long, work had been hard, and the fight with Rafael took the last bit of energy he had. They would make up but it didn’t have to be right at this moment. He didn’t have to be at Rafael’s beck and call about it. Reconciling, getting back together and deciding to get married, made Trevor incredibly happy. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still working on boundaries where Rafael was concerned. 

When you loved someone so much you did anything for that person. That’s what Trevor had done the first time around. He thought he could save Rafael from himself and ran him into the ground in the process. It took a long time to recover, longer than Trevor would ever tell anyone. But he had, and it made him into a different person. 

He loved Rafael Barba 150%. That didn’t mean he was ever going to sacrifice himself again. That wasn’t what love was about. Love was about learning from mistakes, drawing lines in the sand, and doing that because you did love someone. The pout was adorable but Trevor withstood it. He was going to sleep on Rafael’s comfortable couch and he would do it with a clear conscience.

Rafael groaned, turning over on his side in bed. He took Trevor’s pillow and held it in his arms. He wanted Trevor to be in there with him but this would have to do instead. He inhaled his scent before sighing. 

This was his fault. While having moods fluctuate wasn’t something he could always control, snapping at Trevor was horrible. Rafael hated that he did it and he hated the way Trevor looked when he did it. This was his punishment, which he understood was deserved. 

It wasn’t happening because Trevor was mean. It was happening because all actions had consequences. He hurt Trevor, even angered him, and that was something they needed to talk about. Two words, no matter how sincere, wasn’t going to bring his fiancée back to bed. Two words wasn’t going to make it all OK and absolve Rafael of the responsibility that he should have.

Grumbling to himself, the ADA put the pillow back, and got out of bed. He walked across the room and opened Blanche’s cage. They had to get the French bulldog a cage for sleeping at night as she tended to like getting out of bed to rip and run at three in the morning. The dog made a sleepy protest when Rafael picked her up. He gently shushed her and took her back to bed with him. 

He didn’t have Trevor tonight but he had his puppy. Tomorrow was another day. He would apologize again but, more importantly, communicate his feelings. Rafael and Trevor would be alright as long as they never stopped talking to each other. Now he just needed to fall asleep; the faster Rafael got to morning, the better.

***


End file.
